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1 OPINION BE CAREFUL WITH ADVICE TO A FRIEND MOVE COULD BACKFIRE, WRITES MELANIE MCGREGOR MELANIE MCGREGOR - Column ETT Here's a bit.of advice ... _ giving advice isn't always +. good. Imagine a friend comes to you talking about a problem with her partner. She likely needs someone to listen, try to understand and be sup- portive. However, as listen- .ers, our minds often go to ~ possible solutions to the problem and vge may be tempted to say something like, "You need to go to coun- selling" or "You need to stop doing this or that." While usually well-inten- tioned, giving advice can backfire. Your friend may think you don't trust her to find her own solutions. She may think that you are rush- ing her and that you just want to get to the solution and end the congersation. She may not agree with the advice and feel awkward. Or, she may take the advice and . then blame you or trust you Financial solutions are less if things go south." Even when asked, it is best for us to avoid giving ad- vice for all of these reasons and more. However, there are some more subtle and helpful ways we can encour- age people in ourlives to con- sider options to improving their situation. Following 'are some ideas for doing just this: » Get their ideas. Ask- : ing, "What do you think would be helpful?" or "What have you thought about do- ing?" gives them a chance to share and talk out what might be on their minds and get your support if needed. We can't assume that others always need advice'and don't have ideas of their own. » Give.options and in- formation. You may know something that could be helpful, and it's all about how you present it. Your re- sponse could sound like, "There are counsellors avail- able, or groups that could help or books that might have some tips." Provide some options and see what they latch onto - pushing 'something on them that might not be meaningful will cross the line into advice-giv- ing. « Ask questions. Rather than saying, "You need to tell around the corner. Suite 217 www.edwardjones.com Brett J Strano, CFP®, FMA, CIWM Financial Advisor 330 Bionte Street South Milton, ON LIT 7X1 905-864 9969 herd to stop that," ask instead, "Have you thought of talking to her?" or "What do you think might happen if you tried talking to her about this?" Questions are a gen- tler way of exploring options, and if others have ruled out or don't want to consider particular solutions, we can. move on and continue listen- ing to help them feel heard and possibly develop their own next steps. « Share an experience. We don't want to go on and on and make the conversa- tion about us, but something short like, "I know when I went through something similar, I found talking to family really helped me. Do you think that could help you?" Keep it short, make sure it's relevant and leate the choice up to them. That's the advice about not giving advice. Melanie McGregor is the communications and ad- vancement specialist at the Canadian Mental Health Association Halton Region Branch, which provides mental health/addiction community support and education. Visit www.hal- ton.cmha.ca for more.in- Jormation and follow @cmhahalton on Twitter. Carlee MacQueen Financial Advisor 310 Main Street East Suite 103 Milton, ON LOT 1P4 905 864-6959 Edward Jones MAKING SENSE OF INVESTING KNIGHTS THRIVING ATHLETICALLY AND ACADEMICALLY PLENTY TO CELEBRATE THIS FALL AT JEAN VANIER, WRITE DEY AND KNYNEKBURG AVA DEY & EMMA KNYNENBURG Column Athletic, spirited and scholastic: These are the reasons-why Jean Vanier- Catholic Secondary School is flourishing. Stu- dents at JV had a great be- ginning to October, con- tinuing to achieve academ- ic and athletic success. Qur athletes strived to improve their skills and achieve their athletic goals. Special recognition to some of our female se- nior cross-country ath- letes that were top finish- ers and will continue to challenge their endurance as they compete at the Golden Horseshoe Athlet- ic Conference. Additionally, our junior girls field hockey team demonstrated integrity and a united front while playing in the Halton Fi- %| nalsand, despite their loss, they did an amazing job re- presenting our school. On Thursday Oct. 17, An, RN LEADS THE WAY! our school celebrated the academic achievements and stewardship of our students at the fourth an- nual Vanier Way Award Ceremony.- Students were recognized for their re- markable efforts in'living the Vanier Way within our school community. Other award recipients were identified for their academic success.from the previous year, achieving top grades in various courses at all levels. Our school administration was proud of our students' con- tributions and commit- ment to building a commu- nity full of spirit and ac- ceptance. On Friday, Oct. 18, as a school community we ho- noured our Catholic faith, celebrating our first litur-. gy of the school year. As students of Christ, we proudly came together asa school to strengthen our relationship with God and build spirit. Students were encour- aged to wear a shirt that exhibited school spirit, such as a school sports jer- LG © LUTE CHANEL BE DELIVE sey. Our chaplain, stu- dents of service as well as 2 the band and choir lead the liturgy, rejoicing in a new school year while continu- > ing our journey of faith. 2 Our. school continued to exemplify our strong faith by hosting the Grade7 con- firmation retreat for the feeder schools. JV concluded the month in Halloween festiv- ities by dressing up in cos- tumes, with classes partic- ipating in a pumpkin carv- ing '@ntest.. Knights for Justice (a branch of the Students of Service school council), organized the "We Scare Hunger" food drive in support of our mission to spread passion by collecting canned goods. To = Comng up in November, Jean Vanier Catholic Sec- -ondary School will com- memorate the members of "armed forces who have died in the line of duty, during our Remembrance 'Day assembly. Variou: dents will also be _ ing the Ontario Sud Leadership Conference 1. Niagara, to defend ow schools title as most Spirit- ed School in Ontario. Ava Dey and Emma Knynenburg are Grade 11 students at Jean Vanier Secondary School. SIGN UP FOR OUR WEEKLY NEWSLETTER AT INSIDEHALTON.COM 4 RY( vou | 1 oo - ueipeue) 6102 "e R900 'Repsiny | uodweys Woo' uc)Heyspisul